Invader zim unrated
by Senpai.Kush
Summary: ಠ ಠ
1. Chapter 1

Invader Zim unrated

By:

Once apon a time Gir was sitting on the couch with his butt watching TV and drinking booze. Gir was watching an inappropriate program that he unlocked after he figured out Zim's stupid password. Gir started to imitate the humans on the TV "OH YEAH THAT HITS THE SPOT! CMON HARDER! MMM YEAH FASTER FASTER! OH SHIT, IMMA CUM!" The little robot took out his dildo started jamming it between his legs and he started to shriek with pleasure. Gir giggled and kissed the abused dildo. "Hehe I love you, Mr. Jiggles." Said the insane cute little robot.

Just then Zim barged in the living room where Gir was jacking off. "Uh, Gir? What on earth are you doing?!"

"N-Nothing!" said Gir as he changed the channel and hid the dildo behind his back really fast with an embarrassed smile.

"GIR!" Zim said.

"Yes, Master?" said Gir in duty mode, his eyes turning red, standing up straight with his hand saluted to his forehead. "Salu-fucking-tations!"

"Did you go to the club last night?"

"Yes, Master!"

"Did you grind on all those hot chicks?" Zim asked.

"YES, MASTER!" Gir shouted as he standed up on the couch and started dry humping the air with a huge grin on his face.

Zim at skool

It was the first day of Skool and Zim barged in late to class. He took an empty seat diagonally across from behind Dib. Dib turned around and started to stare at Zim just to piss him off.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" said Zim.

Dib kept staring at him.

"Turn around, faggot!" said Zim.

"Your green." said Dib.

Zim had an annoyed look on his face and tried to ignore him but Dib just kept looking at him.

"FOR THE LOVE OF SHIT, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, YOU BIG-HEADED BITCH?!"

"Are you an alien or something?" Dib asked.

"NO, I mean yes…er- I AM NORMAL! Uhh just fuck off, okay?" Zim ran out the door in the middle of class.

"Dib!" said Ms. Bitters. "Is this something you would like to share with the rest of the class?"

" _Teachers always ask that…"_ Dib thought inside his big head. _"What the hell am I supposed to say? Yes?!"_

At the Membrane house

Zim and Dib are completely naked and fighting in paint, Dib wrestled Zim to the ground and sat on him while they were covered in paint

"Ah dammit I got paint up my ass!" Said Zim.

"You DESERVE paint up your ass!" Dib said.

Just then Gaz walked in on them "What the-?"

"UhhhheygazyoushouldknockbeforeyoubargeinimeanwhattheheckiswrongwithyoubarginginlikethatwowijustfeltlikegettingnakedandpleasedonttelldadimgladimgayandnotallowedtomarryorreproduceBYE!

The End

Zims POV

Once open a time there was a stupid and ugly big-headed boy named Dib. Everyone hated him and he has no friends because he is stupid and ugly. He is always trying to expose my identity because he is stupid and has no life. He is the arch nemisis of a very handsome and very smart alien (who is HYOOMAN!) and is wonderful. Dib is ugly and stupid.

Your probably thinking "what's up with zimmy drinking all the Dib hater-aid? Is he really that bad?"

Uh that would be a yes. With a capital Y.

So this Dib thing cums to my house after school and knocks on my bell.

"DINGGG-DONGG!"

"Mister ZIM! Please let me take a picture of you for my high school yearbook!" Dib yelled from outside.

"Aw shit, someone's at the FUCKING door GIR GET THE DOOR!"

"Why don't you kiss my as someday you narcissistic diarrhea gargling cum-sponge I was just playing around with piggy in my bed HEE hee a robot fucking a pig that is sooo much fun! Oh and I ejaculated my robo jizz all over the room you have to lick it off! I'm gonna sing the doom song now! Doom doo doo doom! Hey you wanted to pay for pizza okie dokie I had I coupon! Also I wanna kiss your Archie nemisis and show dibby how I suck balls yum yum!"

Zim looked at Gir for a real long time "Shut up Gir your disturbing my masturbation!"

"I'll get *Mr. Jiggles all warmed up for ya!" Gir shrieked.

*Mr. Jiggles is a dildo.

"No Gir! No Mr. Jiggles!" Zim said. Gir went really close up to Zim's face and stared at him with a blank expression.

"I watch you sleep..." Gir said. "Also I keep your alien skeet...in a bottle,"

Zim backed away from Gir and a half disgusted, half scared look on his face.

"Don't tell me to shut up," Gir said, pushing Zim on the floor. "Or I will kick your green ass all the way back to Irk."

The End (For now)

*Gir walks in a dark room with Zim inside it*

"Master, you just make me so happy all the time, and I wanna make you happy too..." Gir said in a voice that didn't sound like his.

"What?" Zim looked at Gir like he was shoving a remote up his ass.

"I want to fuck your brains out." Gir said firmly.

"Uhh...How bout no you fuckin weirdo." Zim said, backing away from Gir with a freaked out look on his face.

Gir started to scream and run around in circles and throw a temper tantrum "I WANNA SEX YOUU! NO FAIR! AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!"

"SHUT UP GIR!" Said Zim. "Fine, I'll screw you."

"YIPPEEEE!" Gir turned from tantrum mode to his regular happy-go-lucky self extremely fast, like as soon as Zim said yes. "IM SO HAPPYYY!" Gir shrieked. Gir pushed Zim on the couch and started kissing him like crazy.

"GET OFF ME, YOU CRAZY SHIT!" Zim shouted, pushing Gir away. Gir looked confused, as usual. "Why you no like me, master? I want you,"

"I like you! Gir-whatever your name is! It's just-I'm busy working on destroying all HYOOMANS! Especially that stupid, degenerate UGLY POINTY-HEAD DIB! OH HOW I HAT-"

"I like Dib!" Gir interrupted. "I just had sex with him last night! Fun!"

"WHAT! HOW COULD YOU SCREW AROUND WITH THAT STUPID BOY! HE'S MY ARCH NEMESIS!"

"I LOVE HIS BIG HEAD!" Gir screamed, then he put on his cheap dog costume and left the house to go get more booze.

Gir stopped at the door "so when will we make love, master?"

"I HAVE NO FRIENDS!" Zim shouted. "Oh we will do it tomorrow when I get home from skool."

"Hee hee okie dokie! I can't wait to lick your space nipples, Zimmy!"

"Yeah, whatever just leave already and bring us more booze." Zim said.

The next day

Zim is walking home from skool with Dib.

"Zim, I was just wondering, do you have a penis?" Dib asked.

"Wha- That is none of your concern!" Zim said.

Just then Zim remembered he was supposed to have sex with his robo sidekick, Gir. Zim cringed at the thought of Gir touching his balls that he doesn't have. Zim suddenly realized...He wanted to have the sex with Dib! Zim and Dib were in love with each other this entire time!

"Zim, why were you raping that little crackhead chihuahua behind the dumpster?" Dib asked.

"Oh I'm sexually frustrated so I was taking it out on him..." Zim said.

Then they started to make out but before they could fuck, Gir barged in. His mouth opened wide and he dropped his popcorn and booze in shock. "Uhh I could explain..." said Dib. "Erm Gir shouldn't you be off harassing squirrels or something?" Zim said. "WHAT?! ZIM YOU PROMISED YOU'D HAVE SEXY TIME WITH ME!" Gir cried then ran out the door, feeling betrayed.

Gir sat outside of Zim's house all lonley and lit up a blunt to make him feel better. Just then Moofy came along and she was selling dope cookies with cocaine sprinkles on top. "Hiya Gir wanna buy some cannabis cookies?!" Moofy said, jumping all around and holding up a bag of expired weed. "Hell yeah I wanna buy some," said Gir, handing her some dirt and bolts to pay for the weed. Gir and Moofy snorted all the coke and Gir ate the dope cookies off of Moofy's tits. After that they had sex and hit the clubs.

At the strip club

"Why the hell is there a little girl dancing with a robot...?" The bartender guy said, watching Gir and Moofy grind on each other.

Gir drank some more booze and Moofy dragged Gir by his hand into the girls bathroom and they had sex again in the bathroom stall. The next day Gir woke up, not remembering a thing that just happened last night. Then Invader zim was canceled and was never shown again in reruns.

Teh end (Wait theres more)


	2. ZADR

Yes I have a theory that Zim wants to commit suicide and Keef is watching gay Asian porn and jacking off.

Keef walked up to Zim out of nowhere. "Hay Zim nice dress! (sarcastic)" Keef lit up his crack pipe. "You going skirt shopping, you alien faggot? hahahhehe" Keef choked on his blunt while laughing.

"You know what, Keef? FUCK OFF!" Zim yelled at Keef. Then he picked up Keef and threw him in the garbage.

Zim was raping the little chihuahua behind the dumpster and Dib came along. "WhAt the fuck are you doing, space boy?" Dib said. "Oh I'm sexually frustrated so I'm taking it out on him." Said Zim. Then they started to make out but before they could fuck; they got ran over by a huge truck. Driving the truck was Gir. Who wasn't wearing his seatbelt so he flew out the window and busted his head on the concrete, killing him. Then the little crackhead chihuahua came along and starting humping his dead body.

The end

One day in the fucked up place where Zim lives, zim was sitting in front of his house smoking a joint and thinking erotic thoughts about Dib "oh fuck dib" he moaned aloud. "Give it to me, you big headed bitch" just then Gir barged in and interrupted his perverted fantasy. "Dammit Gir!" Zim shouted. Gir was sitting on the couch with his butt snorting cocaine and injecting heroine into his robot body while watching porn and jacking off. Then he took out his dildo and started jamming it in the area between his legs as he shrieked his pleasure "OH YES BABY THATS WHERE GIR LIKES IT!" the insane stoopid robot shouted.

Then he barged into Gaz room while she was playing with her self in front of the mirror and started to scream and bitch at Gir for barging in like a maniac. Gir just stared and smiled and took a swig of booze. "You look spicy..." Gir crooned. "Thanks" said horny Gaz. "Wanna come in so you can fuck my brains out?" Said the horny 11 year old girl. "Sure Gazzy!" Gir shrieked. Then they both hopped on Gaz bed and Gir started giggling like cray cray as he ripped off her close and Gaz was wearing a sexy black bra and lingerie, ya know stuff 10 year old girls shouldn't wear. Also a black lace mini skirt with no panties under showing off her cute ass for Gir. Gir started screaming of happiness and he lowered his head so he can lick Gaz vajay-jay. Just as he lowered his big head in front of her wet pussy Gaz pushed him away "HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING I WANT PUSSY!" Gir shouted. "You let Zim lick you down there all da time! NO FAIR!" "Wait you watch me and Zim have sex?!" Gaz asked. "Of course!" Gir shouted. "And record it too! Now, let me eat you out?" Gir lowered his head again so his face was in front of Gaz cute pussy. Gir gave Gaz an evil grin as he pulled her panties to the side. Then he gave Gaz some licks. "Ohh fuck Gir" Gaz grabbed on to the sheets as she felt Gir's sexy tongue. How the hell does a robot have a real tongue? So anyway Gir said "See, it feels good right Gazzy?" Gir said really cute. "Yeah I gotta admit it, no wonder you get all the bitches..." said Gaz.

After that Gir forced Gaz to drink his booze by shoving it down her throat. Now Gaz was extremely horny. "Let's get kinky!" Gaz said, Gir on top. "Ooh I love kinky!" Said the freaky robot. "Now," Gaz commanded. "Get down on your knees, and SUCK MY ASS!" Gaz shouted. "Heehee okie dokie!" Gir giggled. Robot hands and tongue made contact with her ass. Gir is a really good kisser, it felt amazing for Gaz "oh hell yeah kiss my ass you insane little robot you." Gaz moaned of ecstasy. Gaz stuck out her cute round butt in a mini skirt and wiggled her ass in Gir's face. Gir was sexually aroused and started to hug and smooch her ass tightly. "Mmmm Gazzy, rip ass for me." Gaz let out a warm, sexy fart in Gir's face. Gir sucked a fart out of Gaz's ass. "Now I know why they call you Gaz! Hee!" "Shut up Gir you pshyco." Said Gaz. "Now I know why it feels so damn good rubbing my ass in your stupid face." Said Gaz, she pushed Gir on the bed and sat on his face, She grinded on his face in tight shorts and farted, letting Gir suffocate.

"Mmm" said Dib, who was secretly watching them. "I want to die like this. Please? Any girl?"

So Gir and Gaz started to make out. Kissing each other like crazy. Gaz on top this time "Oh baby," Gir moaned, wrapping his extended arms around Gaz head, feeling her purple silky hair. They got up and Gir sat on Gaz lap, kissing her face. Gir started giving Gaz a lap dance and he wiggled his robot ass in Gaz's face with a huge grin. "You like that Gazzy?" Said Gir as he shaked his booty in her face. "Why not give it a kiss?" Gir begged. "NO!" Gaz shouted, getting angry out of nowhere. Then she took out a knife and started stabbing gir, carving "I hate you" onto his stomach. Then she threw Gir out the window and walked away to have sex with her dad, professor Membrane. Gir landed in a shrub. "Owww" said Gir as he felt his head. Dib walked up to him out of nowhere. "Hey, big headed boy," said Gir as he scanned him. "Sorry my sister is such a bitch." Said Dib. "Would some weird ass sex cheer you up?"

"Yes," said Gir, then they held hands and ran up to Dibs room to have sex.

*Too lazy to write Gir having the sex with Dib*

Zim x Gir

"Muahahahahaha" Zim let out a long stupid laugh.

"Ooh, I love you too Zim! Let's have sex!" Gir hugged Zim and kissed him for no reason, launching them both backwards and they fell over, Zim's elbow accidentally hitting the self destruct button of his ship. Then the ship exploded in the middle of space. Zim growled at Gir.

"C'mon, you can't stay mad at me!" Gir said really happy.

"Dammit Gir!" said Zim. "Time for plan B..."


End file.
